Sorry is really the hardest word to say.
I am sorry
Call it inception or pre-conditioned exposure, but all our lives we've been programmed to think that we are great, we are good, we are the most talented/ important/ wonderful person in the world.
Whether by our parents, grandparents, teachers, leaders, etc., we are taught that we must always think highly of ourselves. Never apologise for who we are but this is sort of like a flaw in design. Hence, maybe in some perverse way, we assumed that we are never wrong or could do no wrong. Not in the eyes of our biggest fans. But mistakes do happen.
"I'm sorry!" – just two words but so hard to form in our mouth and say it out loud.
Why can't we say it?
Apologising means we're acknowledging that we've done something wrong and a mistake has happened. It is an admission that we're just as vulnerable as the next person. Some feel this is a threat to their status quo while losing a bit of dignity and sense of self-worth is hard to swallow.
It's all about pride really. We fear that apologising will make us appear weak and in danger of losing the power we have over someone or anyone. It makes us look incompetent or inadequate.
We can all identify with how challenging an endeavour this apologising business is. Admit it, who likes to be in the wrong? So, we stay in denial in the hopes that if there's no admission of fault, then there is no need for accountability or to take responsibility.
Fact is, saying sorry is meant to make us feel vulnerable. It is a soul-baring exercise that helps us to build empathy and be open to another person's feelings or perspective. It's not easy to admit that we've hurt someone or cause a great deal of pain, and harder still to see ourselves in a less-than-positive light.
But when we are able to face our flaws and take responsibility for our shortcomings, it makes us human. It is then easier to make things right again.
Sometimes it's really not about being right but rather being aware of the bigger picture. So say the equally important words – I'm sorry – because it matters.
Sign up here with your email