“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered — just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.”
- Barrie Davenport
Self-confidence is a state of mind which can be practiced and learned. If you're having low self-confidence, you're not alone because it can impact anyone in different ways. Some may think that they are incapable of performing at their job, some doubt their abilities as parents or even as a spouse.
Every now and then, we face challenges and may feel incapable of handling the matter due to self-doubt and lack of confidence. Instead of beating yourself up with negativity, find ways to increase your self-confidence to tackle the challenge in a more effective manner.
Being able to feel good about yourself is an important aspect to a happy and successful life.
Increase self-awareness
There're some things that only you know about yourself which others have no idea about. To get a clearer picture, it is best to conduct an all-rounded feedback session. Ask people around you about how they perceive you. Be open to their feedback and analyse them for your own understanding. Ask yourself these questions about your personal identity and character:
How do I walk?
Do I make eye contact with people easily?
Do I have a firm hand shake?
Do I smile a lot or frown.
How do I feel about lying?
Do I have clear character and morals?
Once you are aware of who you are, you can then address the negativity that is around you and in your mind.
Stop self-downing habits
To improve self-confidence, you need to stop telling people you suck. Stop putting yoursef down in front of your friends and family just so you can please them or make someone else happy. If they truly care about you, they would want you to be happy too. Other than verbally saying negative things about yourself, you also need to stop your mind from giving negative self-talk. Low self-confidence can lead to depression due to too much negative self-talk.
Be aware of your thoughts. Whenever your mind starts talking to you, listen carefully and pick out the words - are they negative self-talk? If you constantly hear negativity coming out from your self-talk, it is something you need to address immediately. It takes 21 days to cultivate a new habit, so be patient about changing the way you think about yourself.
Daily affirmations
Daily affirmation is a way to boost your self-confidence because it helps to keep negative self-talk at bay. If you have watched 'Evan Almighty', you will know that the news anchor; Evan Baxter practices daily affirmation. This is how his daily affirmation sounds like:
I am successful,
I am powerful,
I am handsome,
and I am happy
You may want to go with something that you find suitable for you. It is up to you to create your very own daily affirmation. Believe me, it helps to keep your mind from thinking the worst things, especially in the morning.
Embrace failures
It's never easy to admit that you have failed. You may have failed an exam or failed to secure that job interview or failed to impress that girl last weekend. Failures happen on a regular basis, which makes it something very common. Sure, it makes you feel bad, but failing at one thing doesn't dictate the rest of your life. I am not suggesting that you give up or give in to failure but, I am telling you it is OK to fail.
As cliche as this may sound, this quote by Richard Branson speaks out when it comes to accepting failures, "Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again."
Branson is a classic example that if you've never failed in life, you're not really living life.
Understand your strengths
Find your strengths. Stop giving yourself the easy answer,"I'm not good in anything".
It's an easy way to brush off responsibilities or make yourself commit to anything. Learn to understand your skills and talents. Use them to enhance your capability at work, to help a family member or volunteer to do good. Write them down by putting them in lists like this - '5 reasons why I am good at writing', '5 reasons why I am good at organising parties' and more.
Use your lists to affirm yourself that you are doing great, whenever your negative self-talk starts to creep in.
Will these five methods work? It is up to you to practice them and be true to yourself when it comes to improving your own self-confidence.
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